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This week, I “graduated” to a lower-assist electric bike—a significant milestone in my recovery from long COVID fatigue. After nearly two years of battling exhaustion, I no longer need the heavy assist of my previous e-bike.

Just over two years ago, I was struggling deeply. Long COVID had severely limited my physical abilities; walking was a challenge, and I couldn’t rely on my legs to push through a walk or bike ride. Despite this, I was determined to stay active and get outside. That’s when I decided to invest in a high-powered electric bike—one that could take over when my legs failed me.

At the time, the effects of long COVID on muscle recovery weren’t fully understood. I experienced muscle pain and fatigue that could last for weeks post-exercise, making it clear that I couldn’t push too hard. When we decided to get the electric bike, I tried several models, ultimately choosing one with a throttle that could get me home even if I ran out of strength.

2 years ago, I also tested the bike I just “graduated” to this week, light and easy to maneuver, it had many advantages. Yet, I remember how frustrated I felt when I tried it then—it didn’t provide enough support, especially when I tried to climb a hill. But now, with increased strength, it’s perfect for me!

Riding an electric bike first allowed me to just get out and spend time outdoors. As I got stronger I could join my husband, an avid cyclist, on rides. Hills that once felt insurmountable, even before COVID, became manageable. The bike gave us new opportunities to explore together, and I embraced the sense of security it provided—knowing I could conquer any hill with a little assist. Now, I’m thoroughly enjoying riding and the time we spend together.

We all need assistance at times—sometimes more than others. Embracing the support available to us can bring joy and help us build strength and resilience.

Where could you use more assistance to build your strength? And where can you celebrate “graduating” to needing less assistance and doing more on your own?

Every strength carries with it the seed of potential weakness. If you tell me your strengths, I can probably identify your weaknesses. Why? Because we often tend to overuse our strengths, turning them into stumbling blocks rather than stepping stones.

Consider the manager who is incredibly detail-oriented but ends up micromanaging their team. Or the executive who is so sharp and quick-witted that they grasp issues instantly but become impatient with others who take longer to catch on. Think about the visionary innovator who generates brilliant ideas yet struggles to commit to a single solution, constantly moving on to the next big thing. And then there’s the decisive leader who knows exactly what they want but inadvertently stifles dialogue and collaboration.

Are your greatest strengths also your greatest weaknesses?

It’s natural to lean on our strengths, but true leadership and personal growth lie in balance. Applying our strengths effectively requires self-awareness—knowing when to dial them up and when to dial them down. This is where the Goldilocks principle comes in: not too much, not too little, but just right.

Here’s how you can start applying this principle:

1. Conduct a Self-Audit: Take an inventory of your key strengths. Ask yourself, in what situations might these strengths start working against you? Reflect on past feedback and identify any patterns where your strengths may have turned into liabilities.
2. Seek External Perspectives: Sometimes, it’s hard to see ourselves clearly. Engage a trusted colleague, coach, or mentor to provide honest feedback. They can help you see where your strengths might be overplayed and how that impacts your effectiveness.
3. Practice Self-Regulation: Cultivate the habit of pausing before you act. In moments of decision-making or stress, ask yourself: Am I leaning too heavily on my go-to strengths? Would a different approach yield better results?
4. Diversify Your Skill Set: Strengths become weaknesses when they are our only tools. Invest in developing complementary skills. For example, if you’re a decisive leader, work on enhancing your listening skills to foster more open dialogue.
5. Celebrate Balance: Recognize and celebrate when you strike the right balance. When you successfully manage to temper your strengths, acknowledge it as an achievement. This positive reinforcement will encourage you to continue refining your approach.

Receiving feedback can be uncomfortable. For some of my executive coaching clients, recognizing that their weaknesses are simply strengths overused has been pivotal in accepting feedback and embracing development. Viewing behaviors on a spectrum and adjusting them based on the situation has led to significant positive change.

Your Turn: Reflect on the feedback you’ve received about areas for development.

Can you link it to overusing your strengths? Could this serve as a warning light, prompting you to pause, reassess, and choose a more fitting behavior for the moment?

Remember, the goal isn’t to stop using your strengths—it’s to use them wisely, with awareness and balance. That’s where true effectiveness lies.

I just picked up the first printed draft of my book! Up until now, everything has been edited on my computer. Today, I reached the milestone of it being print-worthy, and I am seriously excited to turn each page and continue with the editing.

It’s funny—just last week, I met a fellow coach and told her that I’ve been writing a blog and working on a book. She responded with, “Oh, you are a writer too.” My immediate response was, “No.” I didn’t perceive myself as a writer since I hadn’t yet published my book. Today is a testament to the fact that, yes, I am a writer.

For those of you curious about what the book is about, it is based on my CORE framework. Through my extensive experience as an executive and executive coach, my education, voracious reading, and attendance at numerous seminars, I recognized that leadership truly begins with leading oneself. I identified four key steps—CORE—anyone can take to become their best selves, which I outline in the book to help you become the leader you aspire to be.

What exactly is the CORE framework?

Simply put, it’s your new compass for personal and leadership development—a toolkit designed to help you engage deeply with the fundamental aspects of who you are and who you aspire to be. CORE stands for Clarify, Operationalize, Reflect, and Evaluate—four pillars that together support a robust structure for growth and fulfillment.

My premise is that leadership isn’t just about rallying troops or being at the helm of a board meeting. It’s more intimate, more personal. It starts quietly within each of us, with the subtle yet powerful understanding of who we are and what we stand for. It’s about getting your own house in order before inviting others into it. It’s that inner conversation that guides your choices and actions, nudging you to live and lead by example.

Stay tuned for more updates as I continue this exciting journey. Thank you for your support!📚✨

Over the past 10 days, I’ve had the unexpected joy of watching baby birds hatch and grow right in the pot plant on my porch. This intimate glimpse into their world—often checking on them multiple times a day—has been nothing short of magical. From hearing their tiny calls to witnessing their rapid growth, nature’s wonders never cease to amaze.

When I didn’t see their mother for a couple of days I got concerned. Despite the urge to intervene, I turned to Google, learned what I could do, and ultimately decided to let nature take its course. Sure enough, the mother returned, continuing to nurture her young with all the dedication of a diligent parent.

This experience reminded me of a vital lesson in both leadership and parenthood:

the importance of stepping back.

As leaders, and indeed as parents, we are often filled with the desire to intervene, to guide, and to prevent mistakes. Yet, sometimes our role is to allow space for growth and autonomy. Letting young managers—or our children—make their own decisions (and yes, their own mistakes) is essential for their development.

Like the mother bird who knows when to return, we must know when to step back and trust the process, hard as it may be. This isn’t just about non-interference; it’s about fostering resilience and independence that will serve them in the long run.

Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this delicate balance of guidance and letting go!

And if you want to watch a short video of these chicks, see my LinkedIn post.

All people want three things:

1. To be listened to
2. To be taken seriously
3. To know you have a genuine interest in what they’re saying

How much time do you spend listening versus waiting to talk?

Active listening is a communication skill that involves giving your full attention—no checking your email, phone, or messages on your watch. You are not just listening to respond; you listen to understand and retain the message being conveyed by the speaker. It also means not interrupting the speaker. Are you listening?

When you are talking, you are not listening.

Listening is an important skill I work on with many of my coaching clients.

Yesterday, on Marshall Goldsmith’s Stakeholder Centered Coaching community call, we discussed the important role of listening, both as a coach and for all leaders.

Listening is one of the most underutilized leadership skills.

Really listening to others helps improve communication, build consensus, and resolve conflicts. Good listening skills also foster trust, cooperation, and teamwork, making it an essential aspect of personal and professional life.

When you listen actively, you pick up verbal and non-verbal cues, gain deeper insight into the thoughts and feelings of others, and respond in a way that is supportive and appropriate.

Are you utilizing this important leadership skill?

Here are four tips you can start practicing now:

1. Be present. Are you checking your phone, email, or thinking of something else? Pause to note how present you are and listen actively. Take a break or reschedule the meeting if you are not able to be fully present.
2. Pay attention to how much you speak. Over the next few days, track how much time you actually talk in meetings.
3. Do not interrupt the person speaking. Take a deep breath and pause. Write down the points you want to mention and let them finish speaking.
4. Instead of talking, ask questions. Ask open-ended questions. This promotes active listening and shows interest and respect for the person you are communicating with. It can lead to deeper and more meaningful conversations.

What next step will you take to become a better listener?

Bias helps our minds quickly make sense of the world by categorizing, simplifying complex information, reducing mental effort, and enabling quick judgments. Our brains unconsciously make these judgments. In early prehistory, this thinking was crucial for survival. For example, seeing a tiger instinctively signals danger, prompting a swift reaction. This cautiousness is hard-wired into our brains through evolution to protect us.

Our “Lizard brain” helps us avoid danger and react quickly, which is why we all have biases.

If you have a brain, you have biases.

Understanding and acknowledging your biases is crucial for personal growth and self-awareness. It helps you understand your predispositions, enabling more intentional decision-making. This awareness improves communication, fosters empathy, and reduces unconscious discrimination, ensuring fair and equitable decision-making.

Unconscious biases are formed due to cultural, social, and environmental influences, as well as personal experiences and upbringing.

1. Cultural and Societal Norms: Norms shape our beliefs and attitudes. Values learned from institutions like the Church can influence these biases.
2. Personal Experiences: Experiences with individuals shape our attitudes toward groups. Negative or positive experiences can lead to biases.
3. Media and Popular Culture: Media reinforces stereotypes, making biases harder to change.
4. Upbringing and Education: Our upbringing shapes our biases. Growing up in environments where certain groups are portrayed negatively leads to internalized biases.

My upbringing has had a huge impact on me. Growing up with a chauvinistic father, I was mortified when I started working on my implicit biases. Despite fighting for women’s rights and founding IamBackatWork to support women, I found I still had gender biases from my upbringing. I noticed unconscious biases—thinking the bad driver must be a woman or expecting the CTO to be a man. It was unsettling to realize these biases were influencing me.

I am thankful I did and am continuing to do this work to truly stand for what I believe in.

Next time you make a snap judgment, pause. Slow down, take a step back, and consider your biases. Be aware of how your thinking impacts your actions.

Question your first impressions and extreme reactions to people.

If you immediately like or dislike someone, ask yourself—what influenced your judgment?

What biases could be influencing your reactions?

In December 2023, as I was reflecting on the past year and preparing for the challenges of 2024, one priority stood out: maintaining physical fitness. After two years of grappling with long Covid, which often left me fatigued, I realized the importance of balancing rest with exercise. On days marked by fatigue or inclement weather, it became all too easy to succumb to the lure of Netflix or a quiet nap, letting my fitness goals slide.

As I pondered ways to consistently engage in daily exercise, I drew inspiration from my daily interactions with game apps. These apps, with their visual rewards and daily challenges, compelled me to participate without fail. During a casual kitchen conversation over coffee, I shared my aspirations and affections for daily accomplishments with my good friend Tzipi Avioz. She recommended the Peloton app , and it was a game-changer for me. Hooked by the streak feature, I have maintained a daily exercise routine for 26 consecutive weeks—that’s six months of unwavering commitment!

I often use this strategy of leveraging effective habits from one area of life and applying them to another in my coaching practice.

For instance, a client of mine, whom I’ll call Janice, struggled with speaking too quickly during team meetings, often losing her audience. However, she naturally adjusted her pace when presenting to the board. By analyzing what triggered this adjustment, we could apply similar strategies to her daily communications.

What can you learn from your behaviors in one aspect of your life that can be harnessed to achieve goals in another area? Like me, leveraging the motivational power of daily challenges from gaming to sustain my exercise routine, or Janice, drawing on her ability to speak slower when presenting to the board to adapt her daily communication style.

What similar connections might you discover in your life that could drive you towards your goals?

In our fast-paced lives, we often find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of activities, jumping from one task to another. Many of my clients express their struggle to even find time for basic needs amidst their hectic schedules. Our sessions together often serve as a vital pause, allowing them a moment to step back, reflect, and gain clarity, which in turn helps them to operate more effectively once they ‘speed up’ again.

Clarity is essential in the complex journey of personal development, decision-making, and leadership. It illuminates the path to deliberate and thoughtful action, proving itself to be a cornerstone of success. Here’s why clarity is so crucial:

Streamlined Decision-Making: With a clear vision of your aspirations and the methods to achieve them, decision-making becomes a more streamlined and aligned process with your deepest values and long-term objectives.

Enhanced Focus and Productivity: Clarity in your priorities allows you to channel your energy towards what truly matters, enhancing productivity and reducing time lost to distractions.

Identifying Biases and Assumptions: Clarity helps you recognize and challenge your biases and assumptions, allowing for more informed decisions and interactions.

Effective Communication: Understanding your goals and values improves your ability to communicate them, ensuring teamwork and efforts are aligned towards common goals.

Personal Growth and Self-Awareness: Clarity compels you to critically examine your life’s direction, sparking personal growth and development.

Stress Reduction: A clear roadmap reduces uncertainty, easing stress and making life’s complexities more manageable.

Improved Conflict Resolution: Clarity about your values and objectives makes it easier to resolve disputes with a balanced perspective.

Goal Achievement: Clarity helps you set attainable goals and track your progress, ensuring continuous advancement towards your aspirations.

How has gaining clarity helped you?

To truly embrace clarity, it’s important to regularly dedicate time to reflect and contemplate.

Regularly scheduling time to disconnect from daily tasks and reflect on your larger goals and strategies is crucial. This isn’t lost time; rather, it’s an investment in making sure that when you do ‘speed up,’ you’re moving in the right direction with purpose and intent.

Who helps you gain clarity?

Think about who in your life contributes to your clarity. Do you have a boss, mentors, friends, a coach, or colleagues who help you see things more clearly? Engaging with these individuals can provide valuable perspectives that sharpen your own.

Clarity is not just about making better choices; it’s about crafting a life that resonates with your deepest beliefs and aspirations. It acts like a compass, guiding you through life’s challenges and ensuring every step you take is purposeful and intentional. Whether leading others, managing projects, or steering your own life, clarity empowers you to navigate with confidence and deliberate action.

Values aren’t just abstract concepts; they’re the underlying motivations for our actions and reactions. They influence everything from the way we handle stress to how we celebrate success. To understand values, think of them as the principles that you live by, almost like a personal code of conduct that guides you through life’s maze.

Values are rooted in our experiences. They often start with our upbringing—embedded in the advice we receive, the stories we’re told, and the behaviors we observe. They’re shaped by the cultural context we grow up in, from the community norms we absorb to the education we receive. But they don’t stop there. Values grow and adapt as we encounter new experiences and as our understanding of the world, and ourselves, evolves.

Think about a time when you had to make a difficult decision.

What factors did you consider? Did you prioritize honesty, even when it was hard to tell the truth? Did you strive for excellence, no matter the effort required? Or did you choose kindness, aiming to support others even if it meant setting aside your own needs? These considerations are a reflection of your values.

Remember the last time you felt truly upset?

Think back to that moment when frustration bubbled up inside you—can you recall what ignited it? That frustration might be a clue to understanding your values, which are like your personal guideposts, helping you navigate through life’s challenges and choices.

But values do more than just guide decisions; they shape our goals and aspirations. They’re the measuring sticks we use to determine our success. Someone who values creativity might measure success by the ability to innovate and express original ideas. Another person who values stability might focus on long-term planning and security.

In practice, values are like a compass that helps us navigate every aspect of our lives. They show up in the way we communicate with others, the integrity with which we perform our work, and the compassion we show to those around us. They influence our stance on societal issues and our willingness to act.

When you are clear about what you value most, you can align your life and work in a way that is congruent with those values, leading to greater fulfillment and authenticity.

Understanding your values helps you prioritize your time and resources, make choices that resonate with your true self, and navigate challenges with confidence and integrity.

When your actions are aligned with your values, you build trust with others. People are more likely to follow and engage with leaders who are consistent and whose actions match their words. In essence, clarity in your values is the foundation for living a purpose-driven life and leading with conviction.

It’s important to periodically reflect on your values.

Are they still serving you well, or are they holding you back? Are they helping you grow, or do they need adjusting? This reflection is not just an exercise in self-awareness; it’s a way to ensure that your actions are aligned with the person you want to be.

“This was way beyond my expectations,” he said at the end of our call. His words came as a surprise. I was conducting an interview as part of 360-degree feedback for a C-level executive.

Our conversation began with a small hiccup. I mentioned, “One of my dogs is unwell, so if I suddenly need to get up and let them out, please excuse me.” He, too, had a dog and was very understanding. We briefly chatted about our dogs, and this small personal touch helped set a warm tone for the entire interaction. Fortunately, my dog was fine throughout the conversation.

Curious about his reaction, I asked why the call exceeded his expectations. He had heard about these interviews but had never participated in one. His assumption was that I would ask questions, and he would simply answer—anticipating a purely transactional conversation.

These moments underscore the importance of authenticity in forging professional relationships. Our conversation evolved into a meaningful dialogue that delved deeper than standard queries and responses.

360-degree interviews are invaluable for gaining a broad perspective on the individuals I coach. They provide insight into a person’s strengths and the subtle issues that may be holding them back. More importantly, these interviews offer a chance to connect on a human level. For me, executing 360-degree interviews transcends data collection—it’s about cultivating relationships. It involves listening actively with empathy, striving to understand the viewpoints of my interviewees, acknowledging that every piece of feedback has a story, a perspective, and a person with unique challenges and ambitions.

Adding a relational layer to these interactions makes each conversation significantly more engaging and rewarding. Often, it leads to unforeseen opportunities. I’ve had interviewees express interest in my coaching services—not because I pitched it to them, but because they found value in our discussion. By concentrating on establishing genuine connections, I find that opportunities organically present themselves.

Reflect on the connections you forge.

How might you transform everyday interactions into opportunities for building deeper relationships? Consider how investing in building these connections could enrich your professional life and be both fulfilling and advantageous.

And for those of you curious about my four-legged friend, the grey one in the photo, she’s doing well. A few days on a rice diet corrected her digestive troubles, which we’ll lightly term as ‘delicate’ matters.