Leadership is about more than solving problems; it’s about fostering trust, understanding, and connection. This balance was at the heart of a challenge Ellen, a senior director at a software company, recently faced.
Ellen is a smart, hardworking, and ambitious individual who had excelled as an individual contributor. However, transitioning to management brought unexpected challenges. The feedback I gathered from her team, through confidential 360 interviews, revealed a surprising perception: her team believed she didn’t care about them.
This feedback was baffling to Ellen. She genuinely cared for her team and frequently demonstrated it in the way she thought best. When employees came to her with personal struggles, she would say, “What can I take off your plate?” To Ellen, this was the ultimate act of support—reducing their workload so they could focus on their personal challenges.
However, her team didn’t interpret it that way. They felt Ellen’s actions addressed only the impact their personal problems had on their work, not their emotional or personal well-being. What they sought wasn’t just help with tasks but a connection that made them feel seen, heard, and valued as individuals.
Two Key Lessons from Ellen’s Story
1. Intent Alone Isn’t Enough
Leaders must ensure their actions are interpreted as intended. Good intentions can be lost if they don’t resonate with the team. This requires leaders to check in, seek feedback, and adjust their behaviors to align with the needs and expectations of those they lead.
2. Leadership Goes Beyond Problem-Solving
When Ellen focused on reducing her team’s workload, she solved the impact their personal challenges had on their work. But leadership isn’t just about addressing the work-related consequences of a problem—it’s about connecting with people on a human level. Employees need to feel heard, seen, and understood. They want to know their leader cares about them as individuals, not just as contributors to the team’s success. This emotional connection fosters trust, loyalty, and deeper engagement.
Practical Tips for Leaders
- Ask Questions: Instead of assuming what your team needs, ask them directly. Simple questions like, “How can I best support you?” or “What do you need most from me right now?” can uncover insights that lead to more meaningful support.
- Show Empathy: Listening attentively, acknowledging feelings, and expressing genuine concern can strengthen relationships and build trust.
- Communicate Intent: When offering help, clarify your reasons. For example, “I want to help you focus on what matters most, so let me know how I can support you.” This ensures your actions are aligned with their expectations.
Ellen’s experience highlights an essential truth about leadership: it’s both an art and a science. Solving problems effectively is important, but so is connecting with the people you lead. By aligning intentions with actions and balancing care for the problem with care for the person, leaders can create stronger, more cohesive teams. How do you ensure your team feels cared for and supported?
How do you ensure your team feels cared for and supported?