It’s easy to get caught up in proving that we’re right. We invest time and energy into demonstrating that our perspective is correct, often to the detriment of the bigger picture. True leadership comes when we shift our focus from being right to being wise—when we prioritize solutions over winning arguments.
The Pitfall of Being Right
Nearly 20 years ago my team and I worked tirelessly to close a significant deal. Both sides reviewed the contract, ensured everything was in order, and finally signed off. Success, right? Not quite. A few days later, the other party came back with an issue: they missed that there was a clause in the contract that contradicted one of their policies.
From our perspective, the mistake was clearly on their side. The contract had been clear, and it was their responsibility to ensure alignment with their policies. I was stuck on proving that we were right, that the oversight was theirs, and that we had done everything correctly. It felt like a matter of principle.
The Shift to Wisdom
I was lucky to have a wise CEO who offered a different perspective. Instead of focusing on who was right, they encouraged us to focus on finding a solution. The goal wasn’t to win an argument but to move forward and maintain a positive relationship with our client. It was a shift from being right to being wise.
By focusing on finding a solution rather than proving our point, we worked with the client to amend the contract, we preserved the relationship and ultimately strengthened our partnership.
The Power of a Solution-Focused Mindset
This experience taught me a valuable lesson: being right isn’t the most important thing. In fact, the insistence on being right can often blind us to the larger goal: progress. By shifting our focus from being right to being wise, we open ourselves up to collaboration, creative problem-solving, and ultimately, more sustainable and successful outcomes.
Practical Steps to Embrace Wisdom Over Being Right
- Acknowledge the Bigger Picture: Always keep the larger goal in mind. Is it more important to prove you’re right, or to find a solution that benefits everyone?
- Listen Actively: Take the time to understand the other party’s perspective. This not only builds trust but also opens the door to more effective problem-solving.
- Focus on Solutions, Not Blame: Instead of assigning blame, direct your energy towards finding a resolution. This mindset fosters collaboration and innovation.
- Embrace Flexibility: Be open to adjustments and adaptations. Often, the best solutions come from willingness to pivot and innovate beyond the original plan.
- Seek Mutual Benefits: Aim for outcomes where all parties gain something positive. This not only resolves the immediate issue but also sets a foundation for stronger future interactions.
Adopting a solution-focused mindset is a powerful tool. It allows us to navigate complex situations with grace and fosters an environment where collaboration thrives over conflict. In the long run, being wise rather than merely being right cultivates deeper relationships and creates more positive impact.