I have recently had multiple conversations with people around setting clearer boundaries and saying “no” more often. For some it was their new year’s resolution, for others an ongoing challenge.
Saying “no” can be difficult, especially if you’re someone who wants to please others or avoid conflict. Setting boundaries and prioritizing your own needs and wants is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in your personal and professional life.
Here are a few tips for saying “no” more often:
- Remember that it’s okay to put yourself first. You are entitled to your own time, energy, and resources. Saying “yes” to everything can lead to resentment, burnout and neglecting your own needs.
- When you want to say “yes”, ask yourself: “When I say yes to this, what am I saying no to”? Your time is limited. When you say yes to one thing, it often means that there is something else that you will not be able to do instead.
- Don’t react to requests. Be intentional. Take time to think and consider them before giving an answer. Pause. Consider how the request fits with your priorities, your existing commitments, and the impact on your team’s success. If it is too difficult to say “no”, is there an alternative you can offer? Help with part of a project? Work on it another time?.
- You will notice that some people will be surprised when you say “no”. They are used to you saying “yes”. Letting people know that you are working on setting boundaries and saying “no” will help them accept your new behavior, and hopefully support you through this change.
- You also need to learn to recognize manipulative behavior, the ones that will not be as supportive of the new you, and may try to guilt or pressure you into saying “yes”. Recognizing the behavior as manipulative can help you to stand firm in your decision to say “no”.
If you are not used to saying “no” it may take some practice and can be difficult at first. Saying “no” is an important skill to develop for staying focused, maintaining healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself.