Listening is one of the most underutilized leadership skills.
Active listening is a communication skill that involves giving your full attention, no checking your email, phone or messages on your watch. You are also not just listening to respond, you listen to understand, and retain the message being conveyed by the speaker. It also means not interrupting the speaker. Are you listening?
When you are talking you are not listening.
Listening to others helps improve communication, build consensus, and can help resolve conflicts. Good listening skills also foster trust, cooperation, and teamwork, making it an essential aspect of personal and professional life.
When you listen actively, you pick up verbal and non-verbal cues, you can gain a deeper insight into the thoughts and feelings of others, and respond in a way that is supportive and appropriate.
Are you utilizing this important leadership skill?
Here are 10 tips to help you become a better listener:
- Pay attention to how much you speak. Over the next few days track how much time you actually talk in meetings.
- Seek feedback: Ask people if you should be speaking more/less? Do you need to do a better job listening?
- Do not interrupt the person speaking. Take a deep breath, pause. Write down the points you want to mention. Let them finish speaking.
- Be present. Are you checking your phone, email, or thinking of something else? Pause to note how present you are and listening actively. Take a break or reschedule the meeting if you are not able to be fully present.
- Look for both verbal and non-verbal cues. What is their body language telling you? Their tone of voice?
- Instead of talking ask questions. Ask open-ended questions. Asking questions promotes active listening. It also shows interest and respect for the person you are communicating with, and can lead to deeper and more meaningful conversations.
- Don’t listen to respond, listen to understand. Don’t jump to conclusions or practice your response in your head. Just listen. When they are done talking you can pause for a moment to get your thoughts together and then respond.
- People want to feel heard: Repeat back to the speaker what you heard, rephrasing it and summarizing their main points. Not only will they feel heard, you will also ensure that you understood each other and have an opportunity to clarify any points that were misunderstood.
- Reflect. Reflect on why you are not present and/or talk too much. Understand what triggers you and what you can do instead. This can help you understand your own motivations and come up with strategies to change your behavior.
- Find an accountability partner. An accountability partner can help you stay focused and achieve your goals, provide feedback, and hold you responsible for your actions.