The Shock of an Irreversible Decision
This week taught me a profound lesson about making irreversible decisions.
On Monday, we received shocking news that Pippa, one of our dogs, was in kidney failure. This was completely unexpected.
The prognosis was dire, and the first vet advised euthanasia. Yet in the face of such gravity, we were not ready to make such a final decision. We took her to a veterinary ER where two more vets said the same thing.
At that point, I was beginning to accept that this was the end. My husband was not there yet.
We took Pippa home.
Different Paths to Acceptance
This was not an individual decision. It was a group decision, and we each needed to go through our own process to reach it.
My husband spent the evening researching possible causes and treatments. While I was emotionally ready to move toward acceptance, I realized he needed to process this in his own way.
The next morning, we took Pippa to another ER.
How Emotions Shape What We Hear
As we spoke with the vet, I could see how our biases and emotional readiness were shaping what we heard. I was listening for confirmation that this was the end. My husband was listening for any glimmer of hope.
We decided to hospitalize Pippa for 24 hours, giving her one last chance at recovery through fluids and antibiotics.
The next day, there was no improvement. In fact, some of her values had worsened. We had to accept the inevitable.
We buried Pippa in our yard last night.
Making Space for Different Processing Styles
As I reflected on the week, with tears still in my eyes, I realized how rarely irreversible decisions are straightforward. The process is almost never linear. Each person approaches it differently. Some seek more information. Some lean on expert advice. Others need to explore every possible option before they can accept an outcome. And some are quicker to recognize and accept finality.
Pippa’s situation revealed this dynamic so clearly.
The challenge in group decision making is not just determining the “right” answer. It is recognizing that people may need different things emotionally in order to arrive there. We need to make space for different processing styles, different emotional timelines, and different ways of coping with uncertainty and in our case grief.
Only then can people truly come together around a decision they can live with.
In the end, honoring Pippa meant making the hardest decision with clarity, compassion, and love.
Honoring Pippa
Pippa joined our family eight years ago. She was a rescue dog from a breeder. We were told she was five when we adopted her, though our vet estimated she was probably somewhere between seven and ten. That means she lived to somewhere between 13 and 18 years.
When she first came to us, she had lived such a confined life that she did not even know how to climb a stair. But she learned quickly.
We are proud to have given Pippa a loving home, safety, companionship, and a joyful life with Lyla.
In the photo, Pippa is kayaking with me, an activity she truly enjoyed. For a dog who once lived such a confined life, watching her embrace new experiences over the years felt especially meaningful.
We will miss her greatly.
To those who have been following my recent posts, the last few weeks have been full of dog-related mishaps and emotions. I am very glad to share that Lyla has fully recovered from the coyote attack and is doing well.
