What Changes When It’s Not About You?
“I want to be like Miki when I grow up.”
That was how Pamela Larde, Ph.D. opened my Institute of Coaching (IOC) webinar last week.
I was surprised, humbled, and definitely hadn’t been introduced that way before!
Then she explained why.
She was referring to our meeting at the IOC conference in May, when I approached her, introduced myself, handed her my book, and shared my interest in presenting a webinar. She was inspired by my willingness to put myself forward and pursue an opportunity.
I had gone to the conference excited to reconnect with old friends, meet new people, and learn from some of the great thinkers in coaching.
But I also had a goal.
I wanted to present an IOC webinar and share the CORE framework with more coaches and leaders.
Five months later, I was presenting Beyond Insight: Coaching Clients from Autopilot to Agency.
Pamela’s introduction reminded me of two important lessons.
1. Be intentional about what you want to achieve.
Before attending a conference, meeting, or event, ask yourself:
What do I want to learn? Who would I like to connect with? What could I contribute? What opportunity might I create?
It doesn’t have to be a big goal. Even one meaningful conversation can be enough.
But have an intention, and be willing to act on it.
2. Connect your ambition to something bigger than yourself.
What Pamela saw as advocating for myself, I experienced as advocating for something I believed could make a difference.
Approaching her could have felt like self-promotion.
But it didn’t.
I believe deeply in the positive impact CORE can have, and I wanted more coaches and leaders to have access to it.
The goal was mine. But the purpose was bigger than me.
Research suggests that women, in particular, often find it easier to advocate for others than for themselves.
We’ll fight for our teams, push for resources, and champion someone else’s promotion.
But what about our own ambitions?
What if we changed the way we thought about them?
Want a promotion? Instead of thinking about what you would gain, think about what the organization and the people around you could gain by having you in that role.
Want a seat at the table? Think about whose perspectives you could represent and whose voices you could help amplify.
Want to share an idea? Think about who might benefit from hearing it.
It’s not about diminishing your ambition. It’s about connecting it to your purpose.
So, two questions to consider:
What are you being intentional about pursuing?
And what could become possible for others if you achieved it?
Thank you, Pamela and the Institute of Coaching, for the opportunity to share CORE with your community!
IOC members can watch the recording of Beyond Insight: Coaching Clients from Autopilot to Agency.
About Miki Feldman Simon: Miki is an executive coach, speaker, and award-winning author of CORE Leadership: A Four-Step Framework to Lead Yourself, Grow Your Influence, and Amplify Your Impact. She helps leaders turn insight into intentional action, strengthen their agency, and increase their impact.
